Its odd how many times we realize that our life is kind of a total waste and we plan to do lot of things differently; make schedules, and in total we just won’t do it.
Why are we afraid to change the routine? Even though I find comfort in the way my life goes, I want something new in the old wine bottle. I say I’m happy with my life; all I do is things I love; but I’m not really, I have my moments; still someplace it hurts.. It hurts I was and I’m not up to my expectations.
Nights are my friends, I love to think, but in a way I’m afraid of thoughts; I try to escape them by sleeping. But some nights are not like that.
All thoughtful night starts with a question. Am I going in the right path? Am I doing things correctly? No I’m not travelling right. I could do much better; still as in old times I find excuses easier than solution.
I always plan tours; think about where my next destination will be. Why? Is it cause I wanna run away? Yes may be it is so. I say all I do is things I love, I have a perfect life where I get to do things I love. In real that's also a mask..
I want to quit. But quit what? Quit my life? I don’t wanna quit; there are people who depend on me, who need me. I’m so unsure about what I have to do with my life. I’m not finding something that soothes my mind.
I wanna run around shouting; crying loud like a mad man. Tear my mask and be insane as I am.
In another sense tearing the mask and being what I want is like being sane in this insane world and that's insane for all others..
Its easy that people tell us to let go.. But I believe we have to keep that in mind a constant reminder that you are not superior, you are just a human and you can make mistakes. Correct it or accept it and live life according to what you learned from that.