My guilt



I was so eager to read Padmarajan's book since I was trying to be a reader. I took the book with the hunger to read all and to grasp and take in as much as i can from him and to use in my book. I started off with "Lola"(1965); it was a sweet love story, I finished the story and went to bed thinking what would have Lola done after he left her. It inspired me to write a story that will make the reader think. Even though 'Lola' was just a few pages it has a story of the life time of an amazing love story.

The next day.

Today I have to go back to the work place after two days at my village. I took out Padmarajan's book with all excitement with which 'Lola' left me last night. Usually I never read during the travel. I love to be with my music during my travel. But today I felt like reading. ' Etho varmukilin' was playing in my headset in a soft volume, I took out the book and started to read the book "Amrithethu"(1971) that was the name of the book. A pain was felt in my heart when I read that. The story touched my heart, no I became involved I felt the pain. As I go through the story, it was like a dagger going inside me. Deep, deeper more than any thing I ever experienced. My eyes didn't get filled with tear but my heart felt the weight of all the sins. I was not a good man. A cheater and AN unreliable, that was me. I felt as if I was every single character in that story.

After finishing the story I closed the book; I was not interested in the songs playing in the player. All I thought was doing the same foolishness that Lola thought of doing. My guilt; I am a sinner

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